With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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