she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
