My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
