I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
