i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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