i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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