You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
