My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
