it was like eating out sand paper
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
