I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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