Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
