i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
