How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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