your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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