Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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