oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
