Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize