Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
