Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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