Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
a search helicopter?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
