You work out of a Hotel?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
