my vag is so smooth its legendary
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
