OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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