Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
