This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
