We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
