Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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