this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
