im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
