We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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