She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
