suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
