I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
