...so i touched it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
