I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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