You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
How's work?
Spinning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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