You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
