I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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