used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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