it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize