I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
