dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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