Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
