So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
