I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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