I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize