HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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