Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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