A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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