I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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