Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
