I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
