God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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