You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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