Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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