Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
