And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
