He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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