508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
