one might say we're banned from that church
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
