My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You can't special order awesome
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
