I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
