that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
