i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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