paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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