I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
